Shinarra

A well known and respected member of Landroval passed away last weekend.  I did not know her well but I did know her and had seen her about.  She was by all accounts a very fine and decent person.

 

 

 

I lost a kinmate of my own a few months back just before I made the move to Landroval.  It is a peculiar thing.  You 'play' with them every day for a year or more, laughing, crying, throwing tantrums, winning and losing and after that time you think you know them.  And then RL rears its sometimes ugly head where the rules are different and you suddenly wonder about this person you have been in daily contact with. 

An avatar can be such a freeing thing, allowing you to be whoever you want to be regardless of what RL set you up with.  It can be a 'portal' to yourself in your best or perhaps truest sense; showing to the world exactly how you see yourself.  When something like a RL death  happens you sometimes have the opportunity to see beyond the thin slice of reality that is LOTRO, a slice that is perhaps more real in one sense and least real in any other sense, and see the bigger picture of this person that you thought you knew well. 

There have been a few cases where knowing too much about a player diminished my opinion of them but that is quite rare for me.  In so many cases, such as my former kinmate, finding out more opened a whole book of aspects of their character that I could begin to appreciate.  Knowing a person through an avatar gives me a particular insight into their true self  but seeing how they handled and presented  themselves in the rough RL is really where you see a person's character.  With an avatar you see how a person wants to be.  Outside of the game you see how well they managed to become the person they wanted to be.

I didn't know Shinarra well. I probably exchanged a few inane comments with her and saw her dancing with perfect synchronization with her long time gaming partner.  She seemed like a very nice person and of the type I was hoping to spend more time with when I moved to Landroval. 

I do know how it feels to lose a kinmate to RL.  It is a shock that doesn't easily go away.  There will be many memories left behind. The game won't be the same ever again.  It will go on and it will be fun but it won't go on as it was and it won't be the same fun.  The avatar is still there in cyber space ready to log on but the mind behind the avatar won't be there ever again.  My condolences to the kinship, The Lonely Mountain Band, and to those that knew Shinarra better than I.

It is odd to grieve over an avatar because an avatar is not real.  Or are they?...